Another day off

Dear David

So good to speak to you on the phone earlier- will have to try and work out why Skype doesn't work so well. Maybe not enough RAM in the PC although I thought it was fine- at least the older version of Skype works! Don't you just hate it when companies put out a new version of something that doesn't work properly?!

I have been thinking about you lots- still looking at various pages of information about strokes. TIA my arse is my main thought at the moment. A TIA would have lasted around 72 hours and not showed any symptoms like you are still suffering from. Still, I hope the blood thinners work and are able to free the clot. I wish I could have got you back to the UK quicker now. Everything was in such a panic for the first couple of days you were in hospital, I had so much to cope with. Did I tell your mum, your daughter, did you need to go back now, how could I afford it... the list went on.

I know you can't remember much about being in hospital. It must be strange for me to tell you everything you did. I slept by your bed for the first two nights. The nurses were so sweet, giving me tea and breakfast in the morning and trying to get me a lunch when there was extra food. The stuff they wanted me to give you though! Eww! I remember a green mush and a brown one. They didn't taste of anything but it didn't matter so much as you were on a Ringers Lactate drip for food. You had problems swallowing water and nearly choked a few times then got angry with me when I tried to help you sit up a little. You wouldn't swallow tablets and wouldn't even swallow the pastes they made to get the drugs into you. You asked where your mum's sister was- I remember you saying, Where's Vera? When I asked Vera who? you replied Auntie Vera and then fell back asleep before I could tell you she has been dead for many years.

I had to help you pee- had a ready supply of bottles to hand- those special cardboard pee tubes. I had to wash you when you didn't tell me in time or we missed the bottle slightly. I spent most of the time when I wasn't in the hospital washing clothes over and over getting the smell out of them and trying to get them dry and back so you could wear them again. Thankfully, you didn't need a poo!

You tried to pull the drip out a few times as you were worried that horrible male nurse from Surgical would try to put morphine in your arm again. You ended up with the drip well and truly taped to your arm! I watched the nurses and read your med sheets to make sure you wouldn't have anything you were allergic to.

You had injections in your tummy- a sub-cutaneous drug they gave you to try and break the clot up. The doctor explained to me that your stroke was caused by a piece of plaque from one of your arteries breaking off and blocking a small blood vessel. I worried that it would happen again. I still worry about that. I know it must be hard to give up smoking, alcohol and caffeine in one go but you have to otherwise your mum, your daughter and me will be planning your funeral. Its hard to fathom that fact, hard to swallow, but its the truth. If you have another stroke, you will not be so lucky.

I remember you sitting in bed for the first time and asking to get up and sit in the chair for a while as your back was so painful, you only sat up for about half an hour before you were begging to lay down again. I moved you around so many times- eventually helping you sit up to eat dinner and lunch.

You had visitors too- Thomas was in seeing Lucy, Steves' wife (can't even think of her name at the moment!) and Sanchia who was in seeing her husband who had double pneumonia and they were worried originally that it was Swine Flu!

Most of the patients on your ward were only in for a day or two- you were admitted early Thursday morning but left the following Monday. Your recovery was amazing- you went from lying in bed to being desperate to leave the place! I had to ride the moped home and you went luxury style in a taxi. At least we have a lift just outside the front door!

I worried so much about leaving you home alone, I was so glad that my mum was arriving the next day. I had to leave for work about 2 o'clock and she got to the flat by about 5 that evening or so.

Now I worry still. I know you must be feeling down about what has happened, its so difficult just as you were recovering from that TURP operation and the bladder/ bowel infection..... you got your strength back up from that and POW!

If there is a local stroke support group, you must go even if you are tired. It will do you some good to talk to people who are going through the same thing as you- you can compare notes if you like! It will also give Jo and Tom a break- and if you need more time away from them, ring your mum up and go and stay with her for a week or so. And, please please please, ask her to buy you a new mattress- its not good to sleep on an inflatable for so long! Jo should know that your back is already bad from breaking it way back when... I can understand if she doesn't have the space, but you need some very specific stuff to help your recovery!

I love you so much. Its hard being here on my own. The cat has fallen asleep on the sofa and I didn't even get to watch the film I wanted to (The Missionary with Michael Palin- another Handmade Film). I have one more very short post to add after this one- a team photo that Chef took of us all. He wants to do another one with us all wearing toques (the tall hats that we never wear as they fall into the fryers!) but this has most of us on it- just a shame its only a small one he posted on his website. We all look quite professional!

Lots and lots of hugs, kisses and cuddles from Cyprus.

Kathryn xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx